I’ve long joked that I have CBH (child bearing hips). I’m never ever going to be called snake hips, that’s for sure. I spend a lot of time trying to wear clothes on the bottom half that don’t make me look like a pear, a rectangle (think sponge bob square pants) or a dumpy middle aged man who’s given up on his appearance. So things that don’t work – straight up pockets, they sort of puff out and make me look wider.
Pleated top trousers, I look like MC Hammer has lent me his trousers. Checked trousers – I look like a walking marquis. Obviously jeans are a minefield at the best of times, so for someone like me who was brought up on Nik Camen in his 501’s looking v cool and lean. Trying to capture that look will never happen BUT …
I have discovered a cut of jeans that I love and am now obsessed with. But before the big reveal here are my DEFINITE NO-NOS for jeans for men of a certain age (mine):
1. Acid wash – just no
2. Ripped jeans – you’re a grown up. You haven’t fallen over in the playground
3. Very baggy jeans – you are not MC Hammer wearing jeans halfway down your bum, showing your boxers – you are not a 20 something rapper Writing/cartoons on jeans – put them in the bin now
4. Big side pockets – combats got away with it. Jeans don’t
5. Boot cut jeans – think Simon Cowell, Jeremy Clarkson. Enough said
6. Creases ironed down the front – see above
Soooooooo – I have discovered GStar Raw 3301 straight tapered jeans.
The fit is loose, but not too loose at the top and round the hips and thighs, then tapers down to a good slim ankle. I’m not saying I look like a supermodel in them but they make me feel like I look decent. I’ve got the dark aged and the worn in azure. I’m the happiest little Denim Dad ever!